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In the course of time, I have used up all the

slack that was sloshed over me at the beginning

that was supposed to last until I had passed

all the must dos must see’s and must haves!

But here am I:

with a vastness still exceeding my ability to cope

with the interloping un-knowing, ever growing

anxiety that pesters and infects my hopes for at

least one more stingy day to say what I wanted

To say from the very beginning. Where did all

the days go as I used them up one at a time as

though there was an unlimited supply lodged

someplace in somebody’s else’s blue sky.

Why can’t I use what I learned to satisfy this eternal

longing that will still be here when I am not? Have I

learned too late to skate around the conundrums

for which there never was a satisfying answer?

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