Defeats

I am no longer who I wanted to be.

The merry go round that collected

Sounds of childhood and stored

them in batches of nicks and scratches

have not survived the lives I could

have been or wanted to be. The

paths I chose in youth were living

proof that hoping for more would not

open the doors to explore Elysium.

The grasp of perfect happiness was

on a remote cloud too loud to be heard.

Learning to hurt and be hurt brought

Emotional scratches infused with the

Mellow light of those distant times of

nursery rhymes and being tucked into bed.

In toto the enormity of becoming has

Collided with reality of choosing and

Losing at least half of what was possible.